Fresh

Driving on a warm, spring afternoon, the wind whipping my hair about my face, the sun warming my skin, and an upbeat song on the radio - today feels fresh.

There's a new hope and excitement that feels as though it's bubbling up inside of me, almost causing me to dance and sing aloud.  It's as though I've been washed clean of all of the slush and mud from the winter and now I'm sprouting a new stem, new leaves, new buds, and the flower is beginning to bloom.  I feel as though I have a fresh new start, and in fact, I do!

It was only last night that I was accepted into the grad program that I have been hoping and dreaming of for the past four months.  My adventure truly is beginning, and I only have four more months to wait!  In four short months, I will be moving from my home of St. Paul, MN for the unknown sights and sounds of Los Angeles, CA.  Fifteen weeks after the program starts, I will be packing up my bags and wishing my friends and family farewell as I board a plane for an unknown land, remaining there for two years.  Exploring theological concepts and development theories, learning a new language, and working alongside community developers internationally, this new adventure will be challenging, faith-growing, and life-changing.  Oh, what I have to look forward to!

While moving to California and then across the world is a definite reason for my feelings of excitement and being refreshed, it has reminded me of another source of renewal - my Lord and Savior.  He has given me a fresh start, even greater than this - His fresh start makes me whole, makes me clean, makes me new.  His death on the cross has given me freedom and provided me redemption to approach the Great I Am.  His resurrection has given me hope and peace, beyond which any earthly conception of joy could ever hope to approach.  His robes of righteousness fall over my shoulders, making me presentable before His Father.  While various circumstances and opportunities may give me a hope for my future and a feeling of adventure, His perfect life and sacrifice renews my life for all of eternity.  May I never forget this, may we never forget this, no matter how the twists and turns of life may cause us joy or pain.  He is ever renewing us, ever refreshing our souls, and ever loving His children.

Standing Still

This morning at church, the pastor spoke about the minor prophets, opening up his new sermon series for the summer.  There were many insightful things that he had to share, but the one that caught my attention the most was about what the prophets had to say and how they felt about it.  Most, if not all, of these prophets spoke words that the people of their time did not want to hear - in fact, their words incited anger and occasionally violence.  The prophets spoke about the evils of the world and their society in comparison with what the Lord says that the world should be.  We have not properly learned to mourn evil, but the prophets had.  They mourned and were horrified by things that we take as "normal" or "real life".  What the prophets were trying to do was call our faith into account and to take us to the slums of the world and our own communities.  Many times, the prophets would point out the social inequalities, the oppression, the exploitation, and the injustice of their society, the rejection of the poor, and their inability to rest on the Sabbath.  The pastor's message reminded me of what I am passionate about.  To a certain extent, I can empathize with these prophets.  I understand their rage at the injustices of their world.  I understand their desire for truth and justice, their abhorrence of a "middle road" and "grey areas".  It's for those very reasons that I feel called to begin working in community justice and to live among those suffering under corrupt leaders, living in poverty, striving to survive.  I hope to someday be able to advocate for them and to bear their burdens alongside them - I hope to stop standing still in the midst of this injustice.  The sermon reminded me of my ambitions and dreams.  Last summer, I wrote a short poem about this very topic.  While I don't normally share my poetry, I figured that since this is one of my first blog posts, and practically no one knows about my blog at this point, that it couldn't hurt too much to share it:

Standing Still

The rocks of this stream are scorched, sun-bleached

The crops are crying for rain

For months these roots no water has reached

Their fruit unseen again

Innocent ones are lying in bed

Eyes still open wide

Stomachs distended, aching heads

Brothers at their side

A long procession, marching ahead

A symphony of wails

Souls are heavy, spirits filled with dread

A good-bye is hailed

There are so many unseeing eyes

There are so many unheard cries

Even if unknown, a babe still dies

Yet we still seem to rationalize

Standing still

The Beginning of Adventure - the end of the known

At this point in my life, I am quickly approaching the end of what is known to me - I will soon be leaving the campus that has been my home for the past three years in southwest Michigan as graduation is just around the corner.  I will most likely be leaving my part-time summer jobs which I have held for the past two years in favor of a full-time office job.  Once accepted to my grad program, I will be leaving the comfort of the Mid-West for the sunny shores of California (although I've never desired to venture that far west).  When I finally make it out to California, I will be leaving the safety of my nation as I travel oversees for two years, living in a community and a culture vastly different from my own.  I will be leaving my friends, my family, my home, my country, and everything that holds any form of comfort in my life.  The next six months hold a lot of change, transition, and challenge - they hold a lot of unknowns.

While this may be the end of the known, and sometimes a bit frightening, it's the beginning of adventure.  By leaving everything that is comforting and familiar, I am challenging myself to explore, to try something new, and become uncomfortable.  I've found over and over again, that it's only when I am truly experiencing the uncomfortable that I am stretched, matured, and learn more.  It's also the only time that I ever truly rely on the Lord.

Over the past year, I think that I've become too comfortable.  I've been too successful.  Life has become too familiar.  I've become lax in my motivation, my work, and my relationship with the Lord.  It's time for a change, it's time to become uncomfortable - it's time to begin an adventure.